Muggle magic?
by moodyirishbabe
Summary: two muggles end up teaching at hogwarts. can they fool everyone? who falls in love with them?do they look good in grass skirts?
1. chapter 1

Muggle magic  
  
"50 points from Gryffindor!" shouted Pr.snape.  
  
"What?" shouted the women in unison.  
  
"Oh.nothing" replied Snape. Vector then started laughing at the scene. There was a brown haired, hazel green-eyed lady on top of Snape, and a small, black haired, chocolate-eyed lady, who had a broken leg, on top of Vector. There was a scream and everyone shifted round to see Pr.Trelawney being hit by a trolley and then went flying, landing hard on the floor.  
  
McGonnagal appeared and walked over to Pr.Trelawney and looked down at her  
  
"I guess you knew that would happen, didn't you."  
  
"Er.yes, the fates informed me" said Trelawney standing up.  
  
"Come on the train will be going in a sec" said McGonnagal to the others.  
  
So McGonnagal, Snape, Trelawney, and Vector got onto the train while the two ladies sat on the ground.  
  
"Come on", said Pr.McGonnagal to the two ladies. So, the two ladies, with bewilded looks, got up and onto the train, with help from Pr.Vector.  
  
So, what's your names?" asked McGonnagal as they sat down.  
  
"Er.. my name is Michelle Molloy", said the brown haired lady sitting next to Snape.  
  
" And I am Madeleine Clarke", said the short lady, sitting next to Vector.  
  
"So which of you is my assistant in potions?" asked Snape to the ladies.  
  
" I am" exclaimed Michelle  
  
"Oh, so you're the DADA professor, right?" McGonnagal asked turning to Madeleine.  
  
"Er.yeah, sure", answered Madeleine, as Vector put a cast on her broken leg.  
  
An hour and a half went past and the more they talked, the more they learnt of the two ladies.  
  
"Will you excuse us" asked Madeleine, grabbed Michelle's arm, and pulled her into an empty compartment, hobbling on a crutch.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" exclaimed Madeleine when they were safely away from the other professors.  
  
"I have no idea", shouted Michelle, sitting down.  
  
'OK. What are 'muggles' and DADA?" asked Madeleine slumping onto a seat.  
  
"Er.. I think DADA is what it's called and 'muggles'. When they speak of muggles it sounds like they are.. people like us. We have no magic and muggles don't either", said Michelle.  
  
"Oh. So, we are muggles and they are." trailed off Madeleine.  
  
The two ladies sat in silence and thought about what the other people were, where they were going, and what were they going to teach at the end school.  
  
"Hang on.potion assistant means helping to teach students' potions and.that means witches and wizards", sad Madeleine.  
  
"WHAT!" screamed Michelle.  
  
"Shut up Michelle. Lets just do what we can and hope for a miracle," shouted Madeleine.  
  
"Ok, ok, lets go back," agreed Michelle.  
  
So, Madeleine, after some difficulty, jumped up and Michelle helped her into the other compartment with the professors.  
  
"Dumbledore will want to meet you of course and you'll probably have to take a test to get the jobs," said McGonnagal as she helped Madeleine sit down.  
  
"So, why are you coming out of the muggle world like the students?" Asked Snape.  
  
"Or the unlucky ones do," muttered Snape under his breath.  
  
"Er.. we.. lived with the muggles," said Madeleine.  
  
"Yeah! We've lived in the muggle world for years and have been traveling to some places but we decided to come back," agreed Michelle.  
  
"Oh, well, I'm going to read," said McGonnagal.  
  
So for the rest of the trip, McGonnagall read her book on 'How to teach students on transfiguration' while Vector fell asleep and Michelle talked with Snape about Hogwarts and potions. Madeleine on the other hand was writing in a small black book about everything, which was going on to her and Michelle.  
  
"Serveus, wake him up, we're near Hogwarts," said McGonnagal.  
  
Snape looked at McGonnagal's stern face and sighed. He got up and shook Vector who woke up after a while.  
  
As Vector woke up, and Snape sat down, the train stopped. Snape fell on top of Michelle, making them both turn red. They didn't have a lot of time to be embarrassed because there were several horse-less carriages, which McGonagal shooed them into them. Madeleine looked around. The floor was covered in hay and straw that had seen better days. She found it quite hard to sit comfortably in the wooden chairs. Michelle had her head leaning on the wall of the carriage, staring into space humming the tune to the Thong song. She then started dancing to the tune, sitting down. Snape stared at her, trying not to laugh. Madeleine elbowed her.  
  
"What!" yelped Michelle.  
  
"You're humming the tune to the thong song!"  
  
Snape quickly looked away in horror trying not to laugh, while McGonnagal looked at them confused.  
  
"Em.it won't take long too long to get there. Dumbledore will be waiting at the door" said McGonnagal.  
  
"Ok" the women replied.  
  
"So what school." began Snape.  
  
For the whole of the trip in the carriages, they talked about many things like their life's, where they had worked and many more things.  
  
The carriages stopped and when Michelle and Madeleine looked at the mythological castle they gasped. It looked like it had come from a fairy tale. It's many turrets and the huge lake reflecting the moon above it. The huge forest looked so peaceful until a large flock of birds flew out swarking.  
  
"Dumbledore, the new assistant and teacher are here" exclaimed McGonnagal. Dumbledore led the two women to his office. "Lemon drops" The gargoyle sprang to the side. Dumbledore went inside followed by Michelle and Madeleine.  
  
Michelle sat down in a chair, Madeleine on a sofa, and Dumbledore sat behind his desk.  
  
"Now do you have any references with you?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"References? No, there was a. .er.fire! At our old work place and..they got burnt, but we would like these jobs" answered Michelle  
  
"Hmm.ok. Read and study these books for your lessons. That is all" said Dumbledore, handing them books.  
  
Madeleine took one for herself 'DADA for years 1-7', and Michelle took one called 'potions help'  
  
They muttered 'thank you' and headed for the door.  
  
"Professor Clarke, one more thing. There is an assistant arriving shortly to help you teach and to learn about DADA"  
  
Madeleine answered this statement with a nod of her head and left with Michelle. 


	2. chapter 2

1 Chapter 2  
  
They walked back down to the stone gargoyle, where Professor McGonnagal was waiting to show they around (and to make sure they didn't get lost.)  
  
After about an hour they headed for the teachers lounge. "So what do you think of Dumbledore then? If you ask me he's a bit strange."  
  
"Tony (P. Vector), I do not think that comment is an appropriate thing to say to our new teachers." Replied Minerva with a stern face, turning slightly red face. "If you sit down I will give you your time tables and show you the run of things."  
  
Michelle and Madeleine did as she said. Tony kept them company, telling them stories that made them laugh, and turn Michelle slightly pink. Michelle could see Severus staring at them every time they laughed. She was about to get up and talk to him, when Tony saw her.  
  
"Oh, don't mind him. He's just a menacing all fool, that scares the pupils into learning things that puts them off the subject, so basically no one likes him. Probably why he hasn't had a girl friend for god knows how long."  
  
"But he looks so lonely." Replied Michelle in a sympathetic tone.  
  
"Just forget about him." Answered Tony in a slightly annoyed tone.  
  
Michelle was going to tell him off for being rude about a fellow teacher, when Severus got up and left in a hurry, with his black robes swaying frantically behind him.  
  
"What's gotten into him?"  
  
"Oh, nothing to worry about Minerva." Answered Madeleine, turning away form Tony.  
  
"Well, anyway, here are your timetables." She handed the parchment to them. "If that's all right with you, we'll go straight through the proceeds of ordering."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Fine then. When ordering supplies you must fill in this form and place it here." She pointed to a unit in the corner. "Do you understand?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Good, now about your rooms. Food will be eaten in the great hall, and you will be sitting at the front with the rest of us."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Well, that's enough for tonight. I'll show you to your rooms so you can get settled."  
  
So off the three women went, leaving the rest off the teachers in the lounge. They walked up a lot of winding staircases and passed a lot of moving paintings. All of which, their inhabitants were gossiping with each other.  
  
"Here is your room Professor Clarke (Madeleine.), I hope it is to your liking."  
  
"Oh, yes," replied a grinning Madeleine as she entered the room.  
  
"Fee free to change the decoration, someone does every year."  
  
"Thank you." And with that Minerva swept off, which Micelle walking behind her.  
  
"Your living quarters are situated near the dungeons."  
  
"Ok. Replied Michelle, imagining a dark, dingy room. 'Madeleine is so lucky.'  
  
"There is something you should know. As well as assisting Severus in potions you will also be co-head of Slytherin."  
  
"Oh, what will I have to do?"  
  
"I'll let Severus fill you in on that. Ah, here we are. If you don't mind I really need to go."  
  
"Of course. Thank you Minerva."  
  
Michelle entered the room. "Wow." She exclaimed as she saw the big indulgent room. "I don't believe it." She muttered as she explored her rooms. "There is no way this can be my room." She sighed as she collapsed inro the massive four poster bed. "I wonder what it will be like teaching here. I hope it's as amazing as this room." And with that she closed here eyes and fell into a peaceful sleep. 


	3. chapter 3

1 Chapter 3  
  
"Who's there?"  
  
"It's me."  
  
The door opened and an arm grabbed and pulled Michelle into a room. "Are you alright Mad?"  
  
"No, of course I'm not! I'm stranded in a queer school, in god knows where!"  
  
"Oh, clam down. It's not that bad."  
  
"Yeah right! Can you imagine what they'll do to us when they find out we're muggles."  
  
"But they won't find out, and if they do we'll cross that bridge safely."  
  
"Hmm. what about St. Thomas'. There is already a lack of teachers with out the best teachers leaving without any notice."  
  
"Yeah, but we'll get paid, probably better then at St. Thomas'. They seem friendly."  
  
"Ok, I'll go ahead with it. It'll just be a new adventure for us two except this time it's got magic and it doesn't involve mountain climbing."  
  
"Do you know what Slytherin is?"  
  
"Nope, now when did they say breakfast was?"  
  
"Just like you, always thinking of your stomach."  
  
The two women walked out of the room talking animatedly. They eventually found themselves at the marble staircase and Madeleine stepped on to it, but it started to move. Her foot touched air, she fell and was only holding on my one of her arms while the other was trying to grab the stair case but the cast was weighing her down.  
  
"Michelle, help me!"  
  
"Can't you just hoist your self up?"  
  
"With a broken leg? I think not."  
  
"What seems to be the problem? Madeleine what are you doing?" asked David Flitwick  
  
"Well, it looks to me that I'm holding onto a staircase that's moving and I'm gradually losing my grip, but instead you're both staring at me." Said Madeleine irritably  
  
"Wingardium leviosa." Said David pointing his wand at Madeleine. Madeleine found herself flying through the air onto the landing that Michelle and David were on.  
  
"Why didn't you just hoist your self up?" asked David  
  
"I have a broken leg in case you haven't noticed. Plus, I'm not exactly used to moving stair cases."  
  
"Oh, you must have been at one of the schools that used to be in muggle buildings. Now I should take you to Madame Pompfery. Michelle why didn't you use such a simple charm?"  
  
"Well, our school burned down with our wands in there. We haven't got new ones because we've been living as muggles."  
  
"You had better go with Hagrid to Diagon alley today then." 


	4. chapter 4

The sorting ceremony had finished and the pupils were tucking into their food. Dumbledore was wondering where Madeleine and Michelle were. Harry was wondering what the two spare chairs were for. Thinking of his forth year and the triwizard tournament, gave him painful memories. Hermione seeing the look on his face told him to stop thinking about the past, you couldn't change it without giving the world other problems. Draco was sitting at his desk wondering why a certain person would not notice him. Ginny now realised that she didn't love Harry and that it was a good thing that they never got together. Ron was humming the tune to chopsticks while McGonnagal was wondering what was for dessert. Suddenly the doors burst open at either end of the hall. Madeleine and Michelle were standing in the middle of each doorway in shocking pink tutus. The school gasped at this strange sight. Madeleine shouted "go." And they burst into pirouettes, arabesques and flying leaps all in sync.  
  
They then sat at either side of Dumbledore. Michelle gulped down some pumpkin juice while Madeleine started to pile her plate with food. Madeleine looked up and seeing the shocked faces asked "haven't you seen someone eat before?" while tearing at a chicken leg.  
  
Dumbledore stood up and announced whom the two people were. "I would like you to meet Professor Clarke our new DADA teacher."  
  
"Madeleine, if you please. I hate the word professor makes me feel old I'm only 25."  
  
"Well then I'd also like to present Michelle the new potions assistant."  
  
Michelle quickly stood up and bowed.  
  
***  
  
"Now in today's lesson you're going to fill these out these questionnaires and then we're going to do a practical. I went to Mago principiante, which is in Spain. I've lived as a muggle for the last eight years so I might be a bit rusty. I do know how to teach I taught in a muggle school for four years. Michelle and my self can both speak Spanish and French so me talk to each other like that it confuses many people. Now can anyone tell me the main way to travel in the magical world?"  
  
"Flying, Floo powder, port keys and apparation." Answered Hermione  
  
Madeleine hastily scribbled this down. "Will you be teaching us how to apparate?" asked a scared Neville.  
  
"No. we're using floo powder."  
  
The class looked at her blankly. "But I've been using floo powder since I could walk and talk." Said Ron  
  
"Well think of it this way. Your attacker has your wand how are you going to escape it with out it? For instance how many people have fallen out of the wrong grate in their lives?"  
  
Practically the whole class did. "Exactly, you need to make sure that you don't get ashes and what not up your nose and in your mouth when saying directions. Would you really like to come from one attacker into a worse situation? Now we're going to use this grate to get to another part of the school. The word is jungle book. Take some floo powder preferably more then you need in case you get lost you'll need some to get to the right grate. Once you get there you should see me and if you're neat the end the rest of the class." And with that Madeleine followed her instructions.  
  
Madeleine found her self-spinning and the fell on top of someone or rather some one.  
  
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" shouted the person  
  
"I was using floo powder, and stop being so arrogant."  
  
"You're meant to be teaching and so am I! You can't just come flying through the god damn sky into my lesson."  
  
Michelle burst into song and started to sing I believe I can fly. She soon stopped after noticing the glare that was sent her way by Snape. Slowly, one by one, the Gryffindor 7th years came through the fireplace. They looked around in surprise at where they had ended up. "You can't just interrupt my lesson!"  
  
"I can and I did!"  
  
"Get out, all of you!"  
  
The Gryffindors left. As Madeleine went through the door she said "aye, aye cap'in." then burst into song while tsp dancing. "I'm pop eye the sailor man." Tap tap. "I live in a caravan" tap tap, Michelle then joined in. "I opened the door fell flat on the floor I'm pop eye the sailor man." Tap tap. 


	5. chapter 5

Disclaimer: we're really, really sorry Mr./ Mrs. lawyer person we forgot to put this year don't sue it's nearly XMas and we have no money.  
  
"Michelle, this is my new assistant Maryann Murphy."  
  
"Hi. Nice to meet you."  
  
"A pleasure I'm sure" answered Maryann.  
  
"Now I've got to teach. Michelle you can keep Maryann company while she watches the lesson"  
  
Madeleine walked up to the teachers desk.  
  
"Now before you can learn to defend yourself the magical way, you have to learn how to defend yourself the muggle way"  
  
"What complete rubbish" muttered Maryann. Michelle chuckled softly. Madeleine proceeded to teach the lesson, while Maryann muttered comments under her breath.  
  
"Complete rubbish, what the hell is she talking about, can't teach, might as well be a muggle"  
  
Michelle constantly glared at her, feeling the anger slowly build up inside her.  
  
"What do you think of her teaching methods?" asked Maryann, " I think she's crap, unfit to be a teacher, she should be fired" she carried on.  
  
" Now remember, self defense should only be used to defend" Madeleine told the class.  
  
Michelle couldn't control herself any longer. She stood up and punched Maryann with all her might, causing Maryann to fall to the hard floor.  
  
"NEVER insult Madeleine in front of me! I have known her through primary and secondary school, through university, and we even taught in a muggle school together. If you insult her, you insult me!"  
  
"Michelle!" Madeleine shouted. The first years looked at them shocked.  
  
"You may go" Madeleine said, beckoning then out of the class, yet never taking her eyes of Michelle.  
  
" What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm teaching self-defense. It should never be used for anything other then defense!!"  
  
" You're bloody freaks!!" Maryann shouted, running out of the room, blood dripping from her now crumpled nose.  
  
**************************  
  
"You fell on my head" snapped Snape  
  
" I know. I had to bathe for hours"  
  
" Why you little-"  
  
" That's heightism! I'm not small, just below the average height!"  
  
" You broke my nose!"  
  
" Your point?"  
  
Infectious laughter suddenly filled the room. The four professors turned to see Dumbledore standing in the doorway.  
  
" What may I ask is so funny?"  
  
" Oh nothing Severous" chuckled Dumbledore, walking to his desk. " Now what can I do for the four of you?"  
  
" Well this little.little.. professor is a complete lunatic and is unfit to teach!"  
  
" And this so called 'assistant' is a volatile, violent monster. She shouldn't be allowed within ten feet of any child" Maryann added, sending daggers with her eyes at Michelle  
  
"WHAT!!!" yelled the two accused women in unison.  
  
" I'm unfit to teach! Why you slimy hypocrite-"  
  
" I'm violent am I? I'll show you just how violent I can be shall I-"  
  
"Michelle for gods sake shut up! I didn't mean to fall on your head it's not my fault YOU got in the way and if you made sure the dungeons, battle chamber or what every you want to call it was heated I wouldn't have fallen on your head. It would also stop a lot of the children in this school getting influenza."  
  
"It's not our fault you can't keep your opinions to your self AND that you are against muggles and muggle borns. As for you." Michelle said turning on Snape. " I have kept my opinions of you to my self for the last few days. At first I felt sorry for you, know one talked to you I can see why! You are a horrible person who is to spiteful to see when some one is giving you a cry for help. Take Neville Longbottom for example. (at the Severus snorted.) you tell him he's doing some thing wrong. If you were a proper teacher and had heard of teaching methods, morals and hair care products you would see that telling him its wrong doesn't help. Most of the pupils are scared to death of you and the others have you wrapped around their little fingers. You are so biased towards the Slytherins. I'm the deputy and I'm saying this. Now if you don't mind we're going!"  
  
"Stop worrying. Hakuna Matata . It means no worry's you should try using the theory." They both walked out singing the tune.  
  
Madeleine: Hakuna Matata!  
  
What a wonderful phrase  
  
Michelle: Hakuna Matata!  
  
Ain't no passing craze  
  
Madeleine: It means no worries  
  
For the rest of your days  
  
It's our problem-free philosophy  
  
Hakuna Matata!  
  
When he was a young warthog  
  
Michelle: When I was a young warthog  
  
Madeleine: He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal  
  
He could clear the savannah after ev'ry meal  
  
Michelle: I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned  
  
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind  
  
And, oh, the shame  
  
Thought-a changin' my name  
  
And I got downhearted  
  
Ev'rytime that I...  
  
Madeleine: Hey, not in front of the Kids  
  
Michelle Oh, sorry.  
  
Both: Hakuna Matata!  
  
What a wonderful phrase  
  
Hakuna Matata!  
  
Ain't no passing craze  
  
It means no worries  
  
For the rest of your days  
  
It's our problem-free philosophy  
  
Hakuna Matata!  
  
Hakuna...it means no worries  
  
For the rest of your days  
  
It's our problem-free philosophy  
  
  
  
As soon as the stone gargoyle had slammed they burst out into hysterical laughter. 


	6. chapter 6

Harry and Hermione were standing outside the dungeons waiting for their Potions lesson. Their conversation was cut short when a red Ron almost ran into them.  
  
"did you hear."  
  
"what?"  
  
"Michelle, I mean Professor Molloy, punched the new DADA assistant and then had a go at Snape!"  
  
" Don't be stupid Ron. A professor would never do such a thing"  
  
"yeah Ron you must be mistaken"  
  
" believe what you want, but I can't wait for today's lesson!"  
  
Hermione then proceeded to mutter something but before Ron could say anything Snape appeared shortly followed by Michelle.  
  
" Ron did you see the look Michelle gave Snape?"  
  
"see I told you.."  
  
" Ron stop acting so childish, and you Harry, you should know better than to encourage Ron"  
  
"well maybe if you would stop trying to grow up so damn fast you would know when to enjoy yourself. Stop acting so superior -"  
  
Before a very red Ron could finish, Michelle came out of the dungeons and beckoned them in silently.  
  
The class sat silently copying the ingredients list for the potion they were about to make.  
  
"This potion should be a translucent blue colour. Now Mr.Longbottom , please try to get this potion right. If you do not you will be serving detention every night until you do succeed in brewing a potion, and points will be taken from Gryffindor -"  
  
"Pr.Snape, that is completely unfair!! Maybe if you stopped picking on Neville and leave him be, he might actually be good at potions. Can't you see that it's because of you that he doesn't do well. You scare him half to death. He's worried that you will do something to him, and always makes mistakes because of his nerves. You -"  
  
"Pr.Molloy!!, you are here to assist me, not pass judgment on my teaching! I suggest that you go and take your seat before you make it worse for yourself." Replied a shocked and angry Snape.  
  
Michelle turned around and walked passed the rows of shocked Gryffindors and Slytherins and tool her seat near the back of the room. The Pupils could her muttering as she walked by.  
  
"oh, yes master, whatever you say master. Anything else I can do for you master. Like teach you how to use a bottle of shampoo!! You slimly haired git!!"  
  
At this last comment, Harry and Ron burst out laughing causing everyone to stare.  
  
" what is so funny POTTER?" spat Snape.  
  
" oh..um.nothing.sir"  
  
" then would you please explain why you and Mr.Weasly here are making that ridiculous noise that I can only guess you would consider laughing?"  
  
" Honestly sir it was nothing" answered a much more calm Harry.  
  
" Detention tonight both of you, and 20 points from Gryffindor"  
  
"Severous, I mean Pr.Snape, it was me. I caused them to laugh." Spoke up Michelle. Ron, who had been leaning on Hermione for support, soon straightened up after hearing this.  
  
Snape glared at her for a moment. Neither of them moved. Just stood there glaring at the other. The class stared at them, wondering if they should do anything. Some were muttering to their neighbor , hoping that Michelle would punch the rat.  
  
After about five minutes, Michelle simply straightened herself up, picked up her bag. Took a step towards Snape, but instead of punching him, she just smiled and left. Snape stood there speechless.  
  
'what in Merlin's name just happened?'  
  
'come on Severous, shake out of it!! She's annoying, you can't stand her! And yet...'  
  
" POTTER, 10 points from Gryffindor, and wipe that smirk of your face!!"  
  
**********  
  
Michelle walked down the corridor smiling to herself. She turned corner after corner, sub consciously heading to Madeleine's classroom, when she bumped into something. It was actually a person. The one person that could annoy Michelle just by breathing. Maryann.  
  
" Watch where your going ...oh it's you"  
  
" Shove off! I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now"  
  
" well excuse me for breathing. Besides ,you walked into me"  
  
" I suggest you leave now, before I do something that you might later regret!"  
  
" And what would that be?"  
  
"This!!" Michelle screamed as she punched Maryann for the second time in two days.  
  
" You'll pay for this Molloy. Just you wait!!" and with that Maryann ran to the medical wing, hand over her nose, and blood running down her face. 


	7. chapter 7

Disclaimer: Maddy and Moodyirishbabe don't own any thing apart from the plot and Madeleine, Michelle and Maryann. We don't pretend to own Harry Potter we wouldn't be able to write such a plot.  
  
Muggle magic?  
  
************  
  
Chapter seven  
  
************  
  
Two women were walking down the long corridors of Hogwarts discussing something very quickly.  
  
"Did you see the look on Vectors face?" Asked Michelle  
  
"Yes! It was hilarious I heard Minerva tell him to close his mouth. Though Snape was amusing as well." Answered Madeleine  
  
"Good his look of loathing never tires me. Murphy (Maryann) was saying to Hagrid that we weren't fit to be teachers in what we're wearing. What do they expect from people with such sparkling personalities?" Continued Michelle  
  
"Exactly. I mean it isn't that outrages. Albus did say we could do what we wanted. He enjoys a laugh, he was trying not to but I could see it in his eyes."  
  
"I agree. Then again did you see the pupils? All the males in sixth and seventh year had their mouths wide open, the girls looked at us as if we were mad ,the first years laughed and others refused to look. Like what her name. Hermione Granger. I swear she likes Ron Weasley, he likes her why won't they admit it to each other?" replied Michelle  
  
"Because every one else knows it. I pity Harry Potter. He has to put up with it, but he really doesn't notice being mobbed by half the girls in this school."  
  
Just then a man came walking down the corridor and walked into them. His hands some how placed them selves on Madeleine's hips which he realised were bare. "I'm so sorry." He said quickly taking his hands away.  
  
"Look where you're going!" said Michelle looking at him as if he was incompetent.  
  
"And close your mouth." Put in Madeleine smirking.  
  
"This school has a dress code!" The man retorted  
  
"It's a good job we're not pupils then isn't it?"  
  
"You're not pupils?"  
  
"No. Now I believe you are in a hurry as you were walking very quickly, bye." Said Madeleine walking off.  
  
Once safely down the corridor they looked at each other and burst out laughing.  
  
Later that day after having same strange comments from a certain two members of staff they were called up to the head masters office by Minerva though she didn't leave with out adding "it whould do you well to change out of those costumes."  
  
The two women looked at each other. "Our clothing is not outrages is it Michelle?"  
  
"Not compared to what we usually wear."  
  
"I mean they wear this stuff in Hawaii."  
  
"Though I don't think they know that. I think they wear the same things- robes all over the world in the wizarding world. I like them and they actually give this castle a warm atmosphere. It's already freezing and it's not even November yet."  
  
"That could be something to do with the fact that we're wearing grass skirts and bikini's."  
  
"Well we have a pair of hot pants underneath our grass skirts. I'm going like this at least Albus has a sense of humour."  
  
"I agree. I'll go too."  
  
They walked down the corridor and up some stairs until they got to the stone gargoyle.  
  
"Have you noticed that when ever we come here we're in trouble? It' probably something to do with Snape and Murphy." Said Michelle  
  
"Well who wants to break a habit?"  
  
They got onto the stairs, which started to move. When they got to the doors they could hear a conversation, which was going on. "You do seem to have some very strange people in this school at the moment." Said the voice from earlier that day.  
  
Madeleine knocked on the door. The headmasters voice came back "come in."  
  
"Hello Albus." Said Madeleine cheerfully. "What have we done this time?"  
  
She looked around and seeing the Snape wasn't there she continued. "Don't tell me Snape hasn't come to comment on something? I'm sure we must of done something. Did we blow up a cauldron? That would be Michelle's fault as I haven't been in the dungeons since I went to see Michelle this morning. Or is he complaining that we walked into him this morning? Are you a relative? Or is it because we're breathing at this space in time?"  
  
"I am not a relative of Snape!" The man burst  
  
"Can't blame any one if they didn't want to be." Said Michelle  
  
Albus spoke "You are not in trouble though I'm sure Sirius could help you out on that one. Madeleine, Michelle I'd like you to meet Sirius Black." Madeleine put out her hand which Sirius shook "nice to meet you, again."  
  
"So you've meet?" Asked Albus his eyes twinkling  
  
"More like walked into each other," said Michelle  
  
"Madeleine is the Defence against the dark arts teacher and Michelle, the potions assistant."  
  
"You mean you do actually teach. You actually manage to stand being with that man for longer then five minutes?"  
  
"No." Answered Michelle "I put up with him, make fun of him, annoy him and help the students make fun of him."  
  
"And occasionally she helps with the potions."  
  
"Well it's not my fault I have to concentrate hard on putting up with him. Once I've done that I'll help." Retorted Michelle  
  
"Than that won't happen. You know what we should do?" Asked Madeleine forgetting where they were "we should make that glare into a trade mark I'm sure people will buy it. Think of it now 'the best ways to scare sibling give 'em the Snape glare.'"  
  
Albus coughed his eyes full of merriment "Now the reason I called you here is because-"  
  
"We're such wonderful people!" Exclaimed Michelle  
  
"Or does he, I mean Sirius need a tour, though no doubt he's probably an ex- Hogwarts pupil."  
  
"Well actually Sirius probably knows every secret passage from here to Hogsmead and maybe beyond. I want you to Erm... look after Sirius while he stays here. He'll be staying on the DADA corridor."  
  
As they left Sirius started to engage them in small talk. "So what do you think of the Slytherins?"  
  
"They're very biased." Answered Madeleine.  
  
"They're very ambitious, quite friendly once you get to know them."  
  
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "She's the co-head of Slytherin," answered Madeleine seeing the question.  
  
"She was in Slytherin? Were you?"  
  
"No neither of us were. We went to school in Spain." Answered Madeleine  
  
"So how long have you known each other?"  
  
"Too long." Answered Michelle. Madeleine stepped on her foot. "Ow!"  
  
"You said the wrong thing."  
  
"Well it's true!"  
  
"We've known each other for about 20 years. Now here is your room. We have to go to the library."  
  
With that the two women left.  
  
Next chapter: Quidditch 


	8. chapter 8

Disclaimer: Moodyirishbabe and Maddy don't own Harry Potter. This disclaimer is exactly the same as the one before so do we have to write it every time?  
  
A/n some one told us that Vector is a women so we would just like to ask: In which chapter of which book does it say this? Maddy has read each book at least 20 times and has not seen this. People can assume what they want until we might find out so we're sticking to P. Vector being a man. We're telling you now so you don't tell us in a review. Though please review we like reading them.  
  
Muggle Magic?  
  
******************  
  
Chapter umm… Maddy can't remember  
  
******************  
  
"Why do we always completely humiliate our selves?" Asked Madeleine  
  
"Cos that's what we're best at!" answered Michelle jovially  
  
"But it would be a better idea for me at least to actually learn what I'm teaching. At the moment all I'm doing is giving them a topic they then have to research it and do a presentation. Murphy is just getting annoyed. It is a good teaching method but I can't use it as the curriculum."  
  
"But we've already decided. We get 100 galleons a week and as you know that is a lot compared to what we got paid in the muggle schools. Then we buy all the books on the certain subject from parchment and blots or what ever it's called at diagon alley and then study all of Christmas break with Joanna's help. It's quite simple."  
  
"I don't see how we can learn 7 years worth of work in 2 weeks."  
  
"But we're not we're learning 7 years worth of one subject in 2 weeks. Learn as much as possible and only use that on the tests eventually we'll learn every thing. Any way we're quick at learning, we're fluent in French, Spanish, Italian and German."  
  
"That is only because of Joanna."  
  
"Yeah, and she's gonna help us with this as well."  
  
"But she's a muggle."  
  
"So are we. Now get into that costume, we have a Quidditch match to go to."  
  
"Shame we're not on the same team. May the best house win."  
  
They walked out of Madeleine's room at the same time as Sirius who was next door. "You're not doing what I think you're doing are you?" He asked  
  
"Yes, we are. It's fun." Answered Madeleine  
  
"Do you have no pride?"  
  
"Yes of course we do. We just like enjoying our selves." Retorted Michelle  
  
"I would offer my arms but your arms are full."  
  
"You could offer to carry them."  
  
"Then they would think I'm in on it and even I don't go that far."  
  
"Well we do. We believe in team spirit. Hope fully we won't get any Quidditch hooligans."  
  
"Erm right."  
  
Michelle and Madeleine we wearing hot-dog salesmen costumes. (Moodyirishbabe exclaims "what? Maddy that wasn't what we decided on!")  
  
Once at the stadium Michelle left to feed the Slytherin end while Madeleine the Gryffindor end. Madeleine was standing at the top of the Quidditch stand behind Hermione and Sirius, while Michelle behind Snape, a Slytherin prefect and Pansy Parkinson.  
  
On the pitch they could see 15 people 14 of which were looking at each other with loathing. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy; the captains looked at each other tensely. The whistle blew. Madeleine and Michelle nodded, they pulled off their hot-dog salesmen out fit as the seams on one side were actually put together with Velcro. Underneath that Michelle was wearing a cheerleading dress that came to just above her knees. It was green with Silver embroidery with a silver snake in the centre.  
  
Madeleine had the same dress except it was burgundy with gold embroidery and a gold lion in the centre. Sirius turned at the ripping of the fabric. "Oh no."  
  
Madeleine and Michelle threw two flowers in the air and sent spells flying at them they immediately turned into pompoms of the correct colour.  
  
"Hey gryffies your so fine  
  
You're so fine  
  
You blow my mind  
  
Hey gryffies, yeah, yeah  
  
Hey gryffies." Madeleine was screaming while Michelle:  
  
"Brr, it's cold in here  
  
I say there must be some Slytherins  
  
In the atmosphere."  
  
The teams looked at the alternatively and shook their heads. Madeleine then changed  
  
"Give me a G, R, Y, F, F, I, N, D, O, R. What does that spell?"  
  
The muggle Gryffindors answered "Gryffindors."  
  
Michelle then started to do the same for the Slytherins. "Hey Slytherins don't be shy.  
  
Go on make up your own lines!"  
  
The hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were looking confused but joined in with the Gryffindors.  
  
"Go, team, go. Don't be shy. Punch those Gryffindors in the eye."  
  
"Ambitious are you lot? We have to say you've lost the plot!"  
  
"You say you're brave! You're just digging your selves an early grave." And so it continued until Harry Potter caught the snitch, though Michelle insisted it was a close shave.  
  
They walked up with the Gryffindor team, though Michelle stayed partly away from them. "I have never seen people do that at a Quidditch match. It was the only way we've been able to diss those Stinking Slytherins to their faces with out getting a detention!"  
  
"Yes, and we're going to do it at every Slytherin or Gryffindor match, though we're always going to be at the Quidditch matches. So when Slytherin face Hufflepuff I will cheerlead for Hufflepuff." Explained Madeleine  
  
"I think you're mad." Said Sirius going to the DADA corridor.  
  
"Well that's what we're good at.  
  
*******************  
  
Next chapter: Halloween and beyond! 


	9. chapter 9

"You still got them?"  
  
"What do you mean 'have I still got them'!?! Of course I still have them! Why wouldn't I?"  
  
"Well, you know, after that little incident in University, I thought you chucked them!!"  
  
"Well, I didn't!"  
  
"Ok, Ok. Keep your head on, you little pixie"  
  
"Nothing. You know we should be going. Just because it's a Saturday, doesn't mean we can be late,"  
  
"Yes it does. There're no classes today. We don't even have to get up if we don't want to!"  
  
"Look lets just get going," Madeleine ran past Michelle and speed down the corridor.  
  
"Hey! Hold up, will you."  
  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  
  
By the time the two women got to the great hall, they were having another debate. This time they were arguing about the Royal family care of their favorite subject.  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
"You know I'm right Michelle. The Royal Family-"  
  
It was with that sentence that Michelle opened the doors to the great hall. The two women were so caught up in their debate that they didn't relies the silence that fell over the great hall.  
  
"Um…Good morning Ladies"  
  
"Good morning professor," answered the women as they took their seats on either side of Dumbledore.  
  
"Madeleine, show some manners will you. Your bum wasn't even on that chair of yours before you proceeded in filling that mouth of yours!"  
  
"It isn't my fault if I have a healthy appetite"  
  
"Healthy appetite my-"  
  
Before Michelle could finish, Madeleine hit her on the side of her head with her pillow. Michelle turned, tightened her grip on her pillow and jumped out of her seat to seek revenge. Madeleine must have anticipated this for she had jumped out of her seat before Michelle could even blink.  
  
"Get back here you coward!"  
  
For the next 10 minuets, all the great hall could see was a little figure dressed in pajamas (with white rabbits on) and wearing puppy slippers running ahead of a taller figure dressed in red-check trousers, a black camisole (with the word ANGEL on) and stripped slipper socks. They ran round the edge of the great hall, dodging, narrowly, some late students, and back up towards the staff table. Just as Michelle was running past the doors, again, she ran head on into a tall, black figure.  
  
The two figures fell onto the hard floor, Michelle sprawled on top of the other figure. Michelle froze as she saw who she was on top off.  
  
"Um, hi"  
  
"Good morning professor Molloy. Now would you please remain yourself"  
  
"If your sure that's what you want" and with that, she stood up and walked over to where Madeleine was, clutching her sides, laughing.  
  
"I blame you for that" she whispered to her.  
  
"Now be fair Michelle. I made you do nothing you didn't want to do. Besides, if you weren't so dimsy, you would have stopped before you fell on top of him"  
  
"WHAT! Did you see who that was?"  
  
"Well, how couldn't I? I mean who else strides like that?" she gestured to the figure that was speaking to the headmaster.  
  
"Good morning Headmaster"  
  
"Ah, good morning Severus"  
  
The two women walked in silence back to their seats. It was only then that they relised and every pair of eyes was on them.  
  
"I think I'll take advantage of this rare silence to remind you all of the Halloween dance tonight, although I'm sure none of you have forgotten."  
  
The two women stopped dead in their tracks at Dumbledores words.  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
"It can't be"  
  
Michelle and Madeleine both glanced at each other.  
  
"What are we going to wear?!" 


	10. chapter 10

Muggle magic  
  
By Moodyirishbabe and Maddy  
  
Chapter 10 (are we there all ready)  
  
The ball soon approached the buzzing school. The students and staff quickly forgot the incident in the great hall due to sheer excitement, or in some cases sheer dread. Michelle and Madeleine had spent the best part of the day in Michelle's room working on there clothes, among other things.  
  
"It's time to go!" exclaimed Madeleine looking at the grandfather clock.  
  
"Hold on just one minute, I swear." Pleaded Michelle  
  
"You've been saying that for the past 15 minutes!"  
  
"Well, we don't want to be to early. You know fashionably late and that."  
  
"Don't be so stupid! Either we go now, or we're not going at all!"  
  
"Alright, alright! Let's go."  
  
Off the two women went, excitement flowing through there veins. Turn after turn they went. Pictures of knights and men declaring their beauty (then being hit over the head by fair maidens) as they passed.  
  
"I hope tonight goes alright. I mean you did check on it earlier didn't you?" asked Madeleine while wringing her hands.  
  
"For the 100th time Madeleine, YES I did."  
  
"ok. Good. Well, we're here now. After you." Madeleine gestured for Michelle to go first.  
  
The two women stepped into an already packed great hall. They stood there admiring the decorations, until Madeleine spotted the food.  
  
***  
  
They sat at their table, Madeleine eating while Michelle explained the profit of marketing such decorations (knowing that it was impossible of course.)  
  
"Good evening ladies. May I say how beautiful you look tonight."  
  
"Why thank you Albus. We made them ourselves." Michelle gestured down at the clothes.  
  
"As I suspected." Dumbledore replied with a smile.  
  
Their costumes were truly amazing. Michelle wore a cream dress, based loosely on medieval dresses (for princesses) with sleeves that went past her fingers in a sloping fashion. It was fitted at the bust with a low box neckline. It flared down to the floor and clung to all the right places, showing her curves.  
  
Madeleine wore a light blue dress (she preferred to base it on a fairy tale princesses' dress) It had a v-neck cut and long sleeves, much like Michelle's. It easily reached the floor ("Heightism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!") and trailed slightly behind her, this too showed off all her curves. The more eccentric part of the outfit was the large cone hat; nearly a metre high, with a veil attached to it (blue and purple mixed together, with a gold trim it was VERY sparkly) perched on her head.  
  
Both of their hair was down. Michelle's flowed down her back and had stars braided in it (Michelle if your hair is flowing down your back how to the braids get there? - Maddy). While Madeleine's was half covered with the veil and was styled in a wavy fashion (styled? You know how much I'd give to style it straight? - Maddy) with the same stars in it as well.  
  
"I see Madeleine is previously engaged. So Michelle would you care to dance?"  
  
"Of course Albus. Thank you." Replied Michelle taking Dumbledore's hand and walking to the dance floor, which was currently packed with students. A few of the couples stopped to watch Dumbledore and Michelle.  
  
Surprisingly Dumbledore was well acquainted with the muggle waltz. Once the song had finished Dumbledore proceeded to dance with Madeleine. After this the two women danced with the rest of the male professors as well as some students, including Draco and Harry.  
  
By the time the dance was coming to an end the only professors that they hadn't danced with were Snape and Hagrid.  
  
"Oi, Mad, you haven't danced with Hagrid yet."  
  
"Really Michelle, just picture that for a moment will you?"  
  
"Hagrid, come and dance with Madeleine." Hagrid walked to the spot that the women had stopped dancing.  
  
"Madeleine, would ya dance?" Hagrid slurred as he was a lil' bit drunk  
  
"Of course Hagrid. But Michelle, you have to dance with Snape."  
  
"No way!"  
  
"Yes, go on now! You know the rule. I do something that you want me to do and you do something for me."  
  
"Alright, alright." Replied Michelle, holding her hands up. Of she walked to the corner that Snape had been hiding for the evening. He had only came because Dumbledore had requested his presence.  
  
"Um, professor Snape, would you like to dance?"  
  
"Professor Molloy, I do not dance. Now if you would like to excuse me, the headmaster and I were talking!"  
  
"Severus" started Dumbledore "I cannot remember when I last saw you dance. I would think it good of you to dance."  
  
"If you insist headmaster." And with that Michelle and Snape both reluctantly walked to the dance floor. As soon as they reached it there was hushed whispering accompanied by Madeleine muttering "I think I'm gonna bring dinner up!"  
  
Michelle took Snape's hand and placed one on Snape's shoulder.  
  
"I'll lead as you can't dance." Smirked Michelle.  
  
"Very well."  
  
Michelle and Snape twirled around the room, much to the amusement of Madeleine who had been put down and looked like a rag doll.  
  
***  
  
"Never, ever do that to me again."  
  
"You had fun didn't you? Besides I had worst, I had to dance with Snape."  
  
"I'll give you that but only by a millimetre. I think it's about time we left, before you-know-what."  
  
"Ah yes, let's go."  
  
Of walked the two women to the entrance of the hall. As they reached it, the band finished. They waited for the hall to quieten down before bidding the occupants goodbye.  
  
"Good night friends." Yelled Madeleine, while Michelle secretly muttered something under her breath while pointing her wand at the ceiling.  
  
  
  
  
  
( Maddy, my hair isn't braided. I meant that the stars were placed in my hair and looked like they were flowing down my back. You dumb midget!! He he. Moody) 


	11. chapter 11

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Muggle magic  
Chapter 11?  
  
First of all Maddy apologises profusely about not writing the chapter but well we've started doing some D.I.Y in her house and she got roped into it (again)  
  
"Good night friends." Yelled Madeleine, while Michelle secretly muttered something under her breath while pointing her wand at the ceiling.  
  
Suddenly peeves came zooming through the air from the other side of the hall. Ballons all the colours of the rainbow came hurtling down from the enchanted ceiling. A balloon smashed into a Ravenclaw and his date. They were covered in water and shaving cream.  
  
Water, Shampoo, shaving cream, whipped cream, gunge and so much more came down from the ceiling covering students and professors alike. Confetti then slowly came down sticking to them. The enchanted ceiling then had the words. 'With compliments Madeleine Clarke and Michelle Molloy (conspirators in crime.)   
Underneath was Peeves who dropped a final balloon on Snape's head.  
The pupils all looked at the door where the two professors had been but that had long since vanished.  
  
***  
Madeleine and Michelle watched as the people in the room were covered in anything. Michelle grabbed Madeleine's hand and dragged her off. They eventually stopped by the charms classroom.   
  
"Did you see their faces?" Panted Madeleine  
  
"Hilarious, haven't had that much fun since we went skydiving."  
  
Peeves came floating up to them. "Our consort in crime." Muttered Michelle looking up. Peeves grinned threw two balloons at them and fled. "Toothpaste!" spat Madeleine.  
  
"Minty fresh. I got whipped cream."  
  
***  
Going back a few hours  
***  
Madeleine and Michelle were walking along the corridor directly outside Michelle's room as Peeves passed escaping Filch who was on his tail. "Peeves. If you agree to help us we'll help you."  
  
Peeves looked up and grinned. Michelle opened her door, which the poltergeist quickly flew through. Filch came running up. "Have you seen that damn poltergeist? I'm sure I can get him reported."  
  
"He went that way." Reported Michelle pointing in the opposite direction.  
  
Madeleine and Michelle walked into Michelle's room shutting the door firmly behind them. 


	12. chapter 12

Chapter 12  
  
By Moodyirishbabe and Maddy  
  
It was a relatively normal day in Hogwarts. Snape was his usual sarcastic, sneering self, Dumbledore's were still twinkling and Madeleine and Michelle for once were not talking to each other! Why? You all ask. Madeleine and Michelle had been discussing the royal family again; a favourite topic of theirs. Both agreed that they didn't like the royal family but they were sad about Princess Margaret's death and of the queen mothers. That however was not what the fight was over. Michelle was convinced that the royal family really had blue blood!  
  
"Where do you think they got the term from Madeleine! They wouldn't say it if it wasn't true."  
  
"How many people of royal blood have had their heads chopped off. Some how I think they would know if they had blue blood. Anyway the amount of different royal families there have been in Great Britain alone settles it. Suddenly you get knocked off the throne so your blood goes back to red. I think not!"  
  
"You're looking at it in too much detail. I'm sure I'm right. I can prove it!"  
  
"What? You cannot go round chopping off the royal families heads just to see if they have blue blood!"  
  
"Well no, but it's a good idea!"  
  
"That's called treason in case you didn't realise Michelle Antoinette Molloy! Science even proves that you're wrong. Your blood is only blue when it is out of oxygen unless you're implying they don't breath."  
  
"You never know! They could be extra terrestrials seeking out ways to crush the human life forms! The truth is out there."  
  
"Michelle. I cannot listen to your insistent ramblings of idiocy for once you have gone to far!" Madeleine walked out slammed the door and went to the Library. Michelle stayed where she was, relaxing in the knowledge that she had once again successfully rattled her cage and won an argument.  
  
Two days later the two were still not talking. They were eating in the great hall Madeleine was speaking to Flitwick and Hagrid about Heightism and how people discriminate because people are not of the average height. Michelle was unfortunate enough to be talking to Snape about potions after all she was his assistant. Madeleine, being petty, still hadn't gotten over the other day with Michelle and her jealously that had been repressed for several years and finally surfaced. To anyone else it would seem that she was just mad at Michelle's behavior over something, but the truth was that Madeleine envied Michelle's looks and sex appeal, as well as her quick wit and talent to annoy someone in a few minutes. Which comes in handy when represented with a love sick male or an over friendly stranger. Michelle had noticed this, but kept it to herself. Yeah she could be arrogant and sometimes selfish and brutal with the truth, but she was also loyal to her friend.  
  
Madeleine's emotions took control of her. She suddenly stopped talking pointed her wand at Michelle and muttered "Schließen Siefür Zeitan!"  
  
Michelle, who had been day dreaming about opening her own sock shop while half heartedly listening to Snape going on about one of his theories, suddenly found her right hand clasped in Snape's left hand. "What the hell are you doing!?" they both shouted at each other. "Let go of my hand!"  
  
They looked at each other and stood up and pulled. Their hands stayed seemed permanently stuck. Michelle glared at Madeleine "I know you did it, take it off."  
  
Madeleine looked at her with an innocent look on her face, but with amusement in her eyes "Take what off, I see nothing wrong." Madeleine then stood up and walked out of the hall, twirling her wand in her hand as she did.  
  
"Why that little-"  
  
"THAT'S HEIGHTISM!" Madeleine shouted from outside the hall. Her good sense of hearing still baffled Michelle, although Michelle's was quite good when it benefited her.  
  
There was only one person that had the slightest chance of lifting this spell, apart from Madeleine, and that was Dumbledore. There was only one problem with that. Dumbledore was presently occupied at the ministry of magic. Snape turned to Michelle and startled to tell her off as if she was no more than one of his first years. Before she knew what she was doing , Michelle slapped him with all her force. Flabbergasted, Michelle took the time to pick up her toast and finish it. Rubbing his cheek with his spare hand, Snape was about to go off on another lecture. As he opened his mouth, Michelle took the opportunity to stuff apiece of toast into it, before walking out of the hall, dragging him with her. As soon as they had gone the Great Hall sprang back to life. Both teachers and students were stunned by the recent display, and within no time rumors were flying about as to why Professor Clarke had done that. The most popular one being that she was jealous of Michelle's relationship with Snape.  
  
  
  
Just out of curiosity what do you think. Boxers or pants? For all the male characters  
  
Moody and Maddy 


	13. chapter 13

Muggle Magic  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Written by Maddy and Moody- the more glamorous side of the partnership  
  
Madeleine was immensely proud of herself. Not only had she taken revenge on Michelle, but she had successfully performed a complicated spell. She had come across it while flipping through some books in the library, and had found it hard to resist, it was just too perfect. She had memorised the spell almost instantly, and was in a much better mood leaving the library then she had been entering it.  
  
So here she was, walking down the corridor to her rooms, with a smile on her face that hadn't been there for two days. She entered and set about gathering up her things that she needed for her first lesson, when there was a soft knock on the door. Still smiling, and now humming one of her own tunes, she opened the door to Sirius.  
  
"What was all that about?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know what I'm talking about. Why the hell did you do that to Michelle? Not a very good example for the students"  
  
"Come on Sirius, even you're not that naïve. You know perfectly well why I did that to her." After a moments silence, where Sirius made no attempt to speak, she continued. "You know what she's like, and I've had enough of it. I've had to put up with her arrogant and selfish manner for twenty years. I did nothing that no one else would've done in my position. Now if you excuse me I have a lesson to teach."  
  
Madeleine pushed passed Sirius and walked down the corridor towards her classroom. She passed several students on the way. All of whom either stopped talking or changed directions when they saw her coming towards them, wearing a scowl that got match Sanpe's. she reached her classroom with in record time, walked in, slammed the door and threw her stuff on her desk. Slowly, she calmed herself down by taking deep, slow breathes, just as her sixth years were arriving.  
  
Meanwhile, down in the dungeons, a heated exchange of words was taking place. Once the shock had sunk in, Snape seemed to have found his tongue and had consequently been lecturing Michelle for the past fifteen minutes.  
  
"It isn't my fault that little midget done this"  
  
"Well it wasn't my friend that got us into this predicament!" Snape exclaimed, waving their joined hands in the air.  
  
"That's because you haven't got any bloody friends!" Retorted Michelle, as she stormed into her bedroom, dragging Snape behind her. She proceeded to pull the covers of the bed, then the pillows, before giving up and looking under and around the bed instead.  
  
"What the hell are you doing? We've been here for at least fifteen minutes now. I have a lesson to teach in case you've forgotten"  
  
"I'm looking for my necklace"  
  
"Can't you just choose another one or go a day without wearing it?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Why it's only a piece of metal" snapped Snape who was growing more frustrated by the second  
  
"Because it's the necklace my father gave me"  
  
"So, you can always get another one"  
  
"No I can't"  
  
"I see no reason why you can't. it's only a piece of polished metal that you wear around your neck. They are quite common."  
  
"Shut up you emotionless git it was the last thing he gave me, it was a token of his love."  
  
"And that matters because?"  
  
"You've never loved, or been loved so I wouldn't expect you to understand. And I'd appreciate it if you kept your heartless opinions to yourself"  
  
Scowling, Snape fell silent, watching Michelle searching for her necklace. Within another five minutes she had located it. Curiosity getting the better of him, plus the oppourtunity to make her feel stupid, got the better of him. "How exactly do you expect to put that on? In case you hadn't realised you only have one free hand, and it usually requires two to put a necklace on."  
  
Michelle stared at him, while she realised bitterly that he was right. Pocketing her necklace, she headed to the door. 'Madeleine is going to pay for this. No one crosses Michelle Antoinette Molloy and gets away with it!' 


	14. chapter 14

1 Chapter 14  
  
Muggle Magic  
  
Written by Maddy and Moody- the one with luscious hair, and smile so fair  
  
Already plotting her revenge on Madeleine, Michelle was in a much more considerable mood than Snape. Feeling weak and powerless seemed to worsen his already bad mood that he was always in. by the time the pair reached the classroom, they were thirty minutes late. Consequently, the scene that confronted them was not a happy one.  
  
The seventh year Gryffindor's and Slytherin's were currently arguing , with a few taking part in a brawl. Insults flying everywhere, as well as one or two curses. Students who normally resembled a normal teenager now looked like a cross between a rabbit and a hedge, where others were hopping and croaking like frogs, or were trying to climb the walls and spin webs like spiders. Normally no students would have had the guts to take part in such an incident, especially in front of Snape. However, the seventh years were so worked up that they were oblivious to Snape, who was somewhat taken aback by this. Shouting himself hoarse, Snape turned to face Michelle who had remained silent. Never in his life had Snape witnessed anyone reduce the seventh years to the point where they looked towards him for help. Without casting any spells, Michelle managed to capture their attention, stopping all insults, the brawl, and in one case a duel. Thinking that that was it, Snape prepared himself to reduce them to snivelling first years. He was greatly surprised when Michelle began to insult them all in a icily cool tone, before handing out some very creative detentions, that he was even impressed with. As her tempered cooled, and she finished reprimanding them, the students stood in perfect silence. Some looking like a scared five year old who was convinced there was a monster under their bed, where as most of them were looking at their feet, with only a couple on the verge of tears. Neville in fact, was glancing at Snape as if preparing himself to run and grab him for comfort and shelter. That small thought was enough to cause Michelle to burst out in laughter.  
  
The student's confusion and fear increased as Michelle continued to laugh her head off, going quite read in the face. Looking at Snape for any type of explanation or any possible form of help, they found him staring at her, looking as bewildered as them. His trade mark scowl replaced his confusion as he noticed that they were all looking at him. With no hesitation Snape turned so that his body was completely in front of Michelle, and shook her with all his force. When that failed to do the trick, he lightly slapped her, taking care that the students didn't see, when the idea hit him. Quickly he put his hand in her pocket and swiftly removed the necklace. Holding it in front of her face, Michelle reacted just as he wanted, and abruptly stopped laughing. Wide eyed, she looked from the necklace grasped firmly in Snape's hand, to his eyes, and back again. In a voice no louder than a whisper, Snape stated "Although you took care of the invalids behind us admirably, that does not give you the right to further disrupt my lesson. I suggest you cease your currently pathetic and most unattractive behaviour before you further embarrass yourself and the staff of Hogwarts. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Good", turning to the seventh years, "Now as for you sorry specimens of dare I say, witches and wizards, seventy-five points will be taken from Gryffindor. If I hear one more sound another ten points will be taken and so on. Don't just stand there!" Brushing past the seventh years Snape dragged the now silent Michelle into the classroom and to the front.  
  
While the class were taking down the list of ingredients from the board, that Snape had previously prepared, he took the opportunity to look at the necklace in further detail. It was a silver chain with an exquisite locket. The locket had an inscription in a language that he was not familiar with. As he moved his fingers to the latch, Michelle caught the movement out of the corner of her eye, and forgetting everything Snape had said, pounced on him, with little effort as they were still joined together at the hand. Shouting at him in French, she grabbed the necklace from his hand, but didn't cease in her shouting. Realising that if he kept still for much longer Michelle would likely give him a broken nose, Snape pushed her off him, before pulling them both up off the floor, where they had landed. He grabbed her free arm, trying to calm her down, which only resulted in her kicking him in the leg. The sudden pain made him involuntary let go of her arm, allowing her to wave it all over the place, nearly punching him twice. Her constant shrieking getting on his nerves, he cast a silence spell on her without her seeing. Seeing Michelle standing there silently shouting and waving her one arm around would have been amusing, if he could translate what she had previously yelled at him, not to mention the splitting headache he now had.  
  
He turned his gaze from her to his class, who had all stopped working to watch the commotion, amusement shining in most of their eyes. The look on Snape's face soon diminished their happy moods and replaced it with a feeling of anxiety and a wish that the earth would open up and swallow them, just to get away from the lecture that was about to come their way, as well as the many point reductions and gruesome detentions.  
  
However, much to their relief and surprise, Snape simply asked in as much of a calm voice as he could "Does anyone know what she was saying?" looking at each other with mirrored confusion and relief, they remained silent, wishing that things would go back to normal. Slowly a female voice could be heard. "Professor, she was speaking French  
  
I assume you speak French miss granger"  
  
"Yes sir"  
  
"Good. Well don't just sit there, tell me what she said you silly girl"  
  
"Erm… I don't think I should Professor….I mean….not here…" Hermione answered, glancing around at her classmates, hoping that Snape would get the message.  
  
Nodding in understanding, Snape turned his attention to the class. As it seems that our time is short, and you have missed out on today's set work due to your childish behaviour, snorts and mumbling could be heard throughout the room at this, I will assign you a three foot long essay on the potion that you should have started, as well as a two foot long essay on the uses of Unicorn hair. If any of the work does not meet up to my standards, all of you ill be given detention. He explained, while looking intently at Neville at the last sentence.  
  
"Miss Granger, you will stay behind"  
  
"Yes Professor"  
  
Within a couple of minutes the room was empty except for Snape, Michelle, and Hermione. As soon as Hurry and Ron had mouthed 'good luck' at Hermione, and had shut the door, Snape demanded to know exactly what Michelle had screamed at him. Summoning up all of her Gryffindor courage, Hermione translated everything that she had heard Michelle say. In any other circumstances she would have found the look on Snape's face highly amusing. By the time she finished listing the numerous insults that Michelle had said, Snape was looking even paler than before, if possible, and his fist were pure white from gripping the desk. Michelle, however, seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. Still unable to talk, she sat on Snape's desk, kicking her legs and smiling in a way that informed Hermione that if she could she would be laughing her head off. As she finished, she stood there for a couple of minutes, before Snape remembered she was still there and nodded for her to leave. Grateful to have gotten away before war broke out. She closed the door and hurriedly walked towards Gryffindor tower. About half way down the corridor, she heard Snape's voice, louder and fiercer then she had ever heard it. Although she couldn't help but feel sorry for Michelle, she had a sneaking feeling that she was more than a match for Snape, and that Snape had finally met his match. 


	15. chapter 15

Muggle Magic?  
  
By Maddy (the bestest writer ever who has the bestest imagination) and Moodyirishbabe  
  
   
  
Michelle was sitting in a secluded part of the library plotting her revenge.  Officially she was looking up the ingredients to a potion she couldn't pronounce.  "What was it?  Shriveling, shrinking, that's it!" she hastily scribbled down a word, "and now to find the ingredients to a Svantikcosl potion?"  
  
 She folded the parchment then put it with all the others before jamming them all into her pockets.  "Madame Pince!?" she suddenly yelled grinning.  She annoyed the Librarian, she knew it and loved it.  
  
 She went off to find the librarian while singing "Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to praise Michelle, her Luscious hair and smile so fair, hi ho, hi ho, hi, ho…."  
  
   
  
*          *            *  
  
   
  
Meanwhile on the other side of the castle Madeleine was receiving a lecture from none other then Sirius Black.  "Are you listening to me?"  
  
 "Have you ever loved and lost somebody?  
  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry?  
  
I should know  
  
Cos I loved and lost the day I let you go…  
  
 Sometimes it's hard to walk away, though you think it's over  
  
Sometimes there's so much more to say, but-"  
  
 "Madeleine have you gone into depression?"  
  
 "No.  Ca va bien."  
  
 "English please!"  
  
 "Good night Sirius."  Madeleine closed the door and then proceeded to mutter under her breath.  
  
 The next morning Madeleine woke up feeling suffocated.  She tried hastily to get up but the pressure above her was too much.  She eventually got out from under the covers to find that everything was bigger then usual.  The bed was the size of a classroom, the pillow a queen sized bed.  "Sirius!" she screamed her voice squeaky.  Silence.   
  
 Ten minutes later Madeleine was pouting, her head just above the duvet cover as she had realized that her pajama's were to big for her.  
  
There was a soft knock on the door.  Her eyes immediately snapped open and she looked up.  The door hesitantly opened.  "Madeleine?  Where are you?"  Sirius looked around the room. Madeleine made as much noise as possible, which eventually caught his attention.  He walked up to her and went eyelevel with her.  "Sirius change me back!"  
  
 "I would if I knew how."  
  
 Madeleine glared.  "Could you go get me some clothes?" she asked.  
  
 "What?  I can't hear you."  
  
 "The use the Sonorous charm!" she shouted.  Sirius rolled his eyes but did as he was told.  
  
 "I said could you get me some clothes.  Third drawer down then two drawers to the right on my dressing table."  
  
 Sirius eventually found the drawer.  He put his hand into the drawer and eventually pulled out a Barbie.  It had a huge ball gown in Barbie pink, with a pink sparkly net over the top.  
  
 "What is it?"  
  
 "I'll explain once I've changed.  Take all of her clothes off.  Don't look at me like that, I'd take them off but the Barbie is too heavy."  
  
Sirius then took the dress off, after working out how Velcro worked.   He then found that the Barbie had underwear as well.  
  
 "What is this thing?"  
  
 "A Barbie, a muggle doll, now could you put the clothes next to me and then turn around so I can change."  
  
 Five minutes later Sirius was reattaching the Velcro at the back of the dress.  Madeleine looked plain stupid in the pink pouffy dress and the pink, plastic stilettos.  Sirius tried to hold back his laughter but failed earning a glare from Madeleine.  
  
 "The great Hall malady?"  
  
 "Yep."  Madeleine climbed onto his shoulder holding onto his hair for balance. Madeleine spent the whole time glaring at everything and anything until they got to the great hall.  "Sirius!  Why have you got a Barbie on your shoulder?  Asked Harry as he walked up to them.   He hesitantly poked her.  
  
"Oi!"  Madeleine shouted.  
  
 "It talks?" asked Harry  
  
 "It, is your DADA Professor, Mr. Potter.  Anymore poking and it'll be 500 points from Gryffindor."  Harry gaped at her, she rolled her eyes and then pulled Sirius' hair in signal that they should go to the teachers table.  
  
A/N- can you guess which one of us wrote this chapter? Hint, the lack of oxygen at her level often effects her ability to construct a sentence. Take care……….oh and don't forget, only when the sky turns green will your deepest desires come true. 


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